13 Questions Of Life And Death

As I write this it was twenty years ago to the day that my grandmother died. I’m ashamed to say that I was completely unaware of the anniversary date of her passing. The truth is that I had no intention of even writing about this topic at all — until today — making it more than just a coincidence that it should fall on this day. And if I’m being honest, it’s a little eerie.

My grandparents were all God-fearing people who lived lives in service to others. They raised goods kids who beget at least one amazing grandson. All my grandparents have passed away at various points along the timeline of my life, the most recent of which was my grandmother, twenty years ago. Unfortunately, though I have some fond memories, I didn’t know any of them all that well and never had much of a relationship with them. Regrettably it seems I was always too young and dumb to concern myself with their years of wisdom and experience. How I wish I could go back, sit down over a cup of coffee, and ask them questions. I have lots of questions.

Perspective

There is a certain perspective that comes with age — a perspective blurred by youth and immaturity that slowly comes into focus through various trials and the passage of time. I’m starting to experience that for myself after four decades on this earth. (Just saying that out loud makes me feel old). But if you have squandered opportunities like I have, it’s not all bad news. We don’t have to live with regret, wait for the wrinkles to form, or make our first purchase of adult diapers. No. We can fast forward the process a bit by learning and benefiting from the perspective of people who have gone before us and walked similar roads.

About two years ago I was in church and had the honor of sitting and listening to a guest speaker pose and expound upon thirteen questions. This man was a theologian, a teacher, and a pastor who was well into his eighties. He had been learning and studying longer than I had been alive. Like my grandparents, he had more than a few things that I didn’t — things that I wanted: perspective, wisdom, and maturity. As he pondered nearing the end of his life he better understood the things that mattered, and the things that didn’t. He had made for himself a contemplative list of questions intended to draw from the shadows that things that give life meaning.

13 Questions

I wrote down each question he asked during that church service and refer back to them from time to time. They are all instructive and sobering and therefore are not intended for us to fly through them haphazardly like first graders scrambling to line up for recess. They are meant for us to ruminate, one at a time, so that they can penetrate through our thick heads and into our hearts — and maybe, just maybe, illicit change.

Here they are, take your time:

1. Who am I becoming?
2. Around who or what am I organizing my life?
3. Who are the people that comprise my primary community?
4. How am I gifted and what have I been called to accomplish?
5. How can I live up to the expectations that people have for me?

6. At life’s midpoint, how do I feel about the person I’ve become? Am I satisfied?
7. How can I rearrange my life to adjust to second-half-of-life realities? (Marriage, children, parents, friends)
8. How long can I keep doing the work that has defined me?
9. How generous a person am I?

10. How have I influenced the younger generation?
11. Do I have the stamina to persevere in times of physical weakness, suffering, and in times of loss?
12. What do I want my loved ones to remember most about me when I’m gone?
13. What do I believe lies beyond my physical death?

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