Hi Mom, Please Don’t Read This: What Stupid Oral Boards And Impossible Scenarios Taught Me About Discretion

This is embarrassing.

It took me four years to get hired as a police officer — four years, five departments, ten exams, six oral boards, four background checks, a couple hundred dollars in application fees, and a partridge in a pear tree.  But that’s not the embarrassing part.

Oral Boards

I hated oral boards, and frankly still do.  I hated the line of impossible scenario questions; the damned if do, damned if I don’t hypotheticals.  The level of ridiculousness seemed to all depend on which department I was sitting in front of that day.  Some were more idiotic than others.

“Here’s your scenario: You stop a car for speeding 20 mph over the limit.  You approach the driver’s window, ask for their license and registration, and realize it’s your mother.  What do you do?”  

It’s the classic, “Would you give your mother a ticket?” scenario. Well, punk, would you!?

At the time, it felt like a catch-22 scenario.  If I said no, they would follow up with some line of questions around bending the rules, corruption, or showing favoritism.  If I said yes, I was a robot, a heartless by the book kid, a Barney Fife with one bullet and no discretion.  In my mind it was just another lose-lose scenario.

Honesty Is The Best Policy

I’m going to be honest with you now because I wasn’t honest with them then.  Of course I wouldn’t give my mother a ticket! That’s just stupid!  

But that’s not what I said, and this is the embarrassing part.

The truth is that I told them I would give my mother a ticket. I actually said that.  Out loud.  In front of people.  “The law’s the law.”  Black and white.  Right and wrong.  At least that’s the demented logic that bounced around in my brain and then rolled out of my mouth.

Needless to say, I didn’t get hired that time, and rightly so.

Hindsight And Being Human

As I look back, now older, wiser, and balder, I realize what an ignorant tool I was.  First, everything inside of me screamed to tell the truth, to tell them I would never give my mom a ticket. But I didn’t.  I wasn’t honest with them.  I didn’t speak up for what I knew was right even if I didn’t know how to explain it to them.  Second, I didn’t understand discretion.  I didn’t understand that discretion is where our true authority lies.  Discretion is the human aspect.  Not every scenario can be codified, accounted for, answered by a text book, or will make a neat round peg that fits into a neat round hole.

I get it, there are situations where the law removes our discretion.  In those circumstances the law is the law and we have to do what we have to do.  But most of the time we get to choose who makes the team, who buys some paper, and who doesn’t.  We get to be the human aspect. We can create the best possible outcome by using our discretion wisely.  

So, be human, and wield your true power — your discretion.  And please, don’t give your mom a ticket . . . or my mom for that matter.

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• When you face decisions, are you too gray or too black and white?
• What is a situation you encountered where you could have used more discretion?
• What principles can you follow to help you better use your discretion?