The reason it didn’t quite work right was probably somewhere in the fine print — where it says the product will only work perfectly during a Harvest Moon in a leap year between the hours of 9 and 10 pm when the temperature is above 60 degrees Fahrenheit and you had Wheaties for breakfast. Then, then it will work flawlessly just like in the propaganda — I mean promotional — video. So, you see, there’s a perfectly good reason why I spiked two cars instead of one.
Or it was operator error. Either way, the second car was a State Police cruiser so it didn’t really count anyway.
Coming In Hot
State Police Dispatch radioed ahead that the pursuit was heading our way and coming in hot. They had gotten off the highway in the neighboring town and were speeding in our direction. I had mere minutes to set up and await all the glory that was sure to bestow itself upon me should I successfully spike the suspect vehicle and end the lengthy pursuit. It was an episode of Cops in the making, if only in my mind.
Stingers For Dummies
At the time, every cruiser in our department had a Stinger Spike System in the trunk. Sure, I had been trained to use it, also known as “watching a video,” but that was years ago. And sure, I had to make certain it was in the trunk before every shift when I did the mandatory cruiser inspection, but I had never actually used it in the real world before. Now I was faced with having to dust off the mental cobwebs in the heat of the moment and remember what I was supposed to do.
For those of you who aren’t familiar, Stinger spike strips are like a plastic accordion of destruction that fits in a box in your trunk. It has a zillion (give or take) hollow spikes affixed to it, like short, pointy metal straws, designed to puncture a car’s tires and then remain in the tread to let all the air out.
Option B
There are two ways to use them. You can throw them using the same motion that you would toss a small child into a pool (not that any of us would do that, though it is fun as long as they can swim). The spike strip expand as it flies forward through the air and lands in the road. Or you can set the little compact bundle of joy on the other side of the road, let out the cord as you walk back across the road, and then when the car you want to spike approaches, you just pull the cord at the last second to expand the spikes to their full length. Either way, the idea is to not have them out where the bad guy can see them so he won’t get the chance to avoid them.
Well, I chose Option B and quickly ran the spike strips to the opposite side of the road, unraveled the cord, and strung it back across the road like the fuse to a bomb. I took cover behind my cruiser and anxiously waited like the Coyote waits for the Roadrunner. Now, all I had to do was pull the string and Whammo! I’d have me a confirmed spike.
Timing is Everything
One thing I did remember from my training was that no matter what, never ever wrap the cord around your hand. Because if the spikes somehow get caught up in a vehicle and dragged, you or your hand would be going with it. Since I didn’t want a hook for a hand I made sure I followed that rule — and it’s a good thing I did.
In the distance to my left, I saw the blue lights of the State Police cruisers puncture the darkness announcing the approach of the pursuers and of the pursued. My heart was racing as I felt the mounting pressure of getting it right and the dread of screwing it up. Everything was ready and I was in place, so it would all come down to timing.
The familiar sound of the Crown Vic’s engines and the wail of the sirens got louder by the second. I could see multiple cruisers in a long line that blurred the blue strobes and wig-wagging headlights together in a frenzy of a good ol’ fashioned car chase.
Pack of Wolves
The object of their pursuit was an old, flat primer-black Volkswagen Jetta. It had one headlight out, a loud exhaust, and was making a valiant effort to get away. But not for long. I had watched a video and was therefore highly trained. That Jetta didn’t stand a chance.
Before I knew it they were right up on me. I pulled the cord and the spike strip leapt to life, stretching itself across the road. It was a second or so too early and the Jetta swerved to avoid it, hitting the spike strip with only one of its front tires. In that split second the spike strips were caught up in the rubber of the tire, pulling the cord right out of my hands. I watched as the black plastic strip flew up in the air, teetered on end, did a half twist, and came back down in the road.
The spikes had rotated themselves 90 degrees and lay lengthwise along the center yellow line. The cord was in a tangled mess in the street, far out of my reach, and there was nothing I could do about it. With no way to retrieve the spikes and an onslaught of State Police Troopers foaming at the mouth like a pack of wolves bearing down on a baby buffalo, all I could do was stand there and watch.
Two Birds, One Stone
It happened in the blink of an eye but, let me tell you, it felt like slow motion. I cringed as the lead cruiser hit that strip of spikes like it had been aiming for it, running the full length of the spike strip and obliterating both of its passenger side tires in the process. The spike strips tumbled up and to the side, finally landing upside down and out of the way. The other Troopers avoided it, but I wasn’t sure it mattered at that point. I think between the Jetta and the first cruiser every single spike had been run over.
Once the last cruiser had passed, I ran out, collapsed the spikes, threw them in my open trunk, and joined the hunt.
Within a quarter of a mile the Jetta lost control, veered off the road, and crashed through a picket fence that surrounded an old abandoned greenhouse. The driver took off on foot but was promptly tasered and taken into custody by the less-than-pleased State Troopers who offered the driver lots of unsolicited “advice.” The cruiser with two flat tires needed to be towed while another had actually run out of gas. It was a hilarious end to a high speed pursuit.
Hilarious for me, but not so much for the Troopers. I think they felt like I was that annoying kid that always wants to help but ends up making everything worse — like Chunk in The Goonies. But hey, a lengthy high speed pursuit brought safely to a close and two cars spiked with one throw — not too shabby for a first-timer. I mean, a little collateral damage has to be expected … doesn’t it?
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