The Law Of Averages

It turns out, they were right.

Have you noticed that homeless people hang out with homeless people, that people in England talk funny, and that cops tend to look alike? Or that SWAT guys love the color black, Velcro, extra medium t-shirts, and can’t seem to find workout clothes that come with sleeves? The list goes on, but I could get a little carried away so I’ll stop right there. The point is that your parents and your grandparents were right when they said, You become who you hang around with.

A Little Exercise

This begs the questions: Who are you becoming? and Who do you want to become? To help you answer those questions and to find out if you’re on the right track let’s begin with a little exercise that I literally just made up out of thin air. This could be fun.

Step 1

Get out a piece of paper and a pencil. From left to right in a row across the top of the page write down the names of the five people you spend the most time with — other than your spouse, if you have one. This could take a little while, but go ahead, I’ll wait.

Step 2

Now, on the left-hand side of the page write down the following categories in a column from top to bottom:

Spiritual – are they living what they believe?
Financial – do they manage their financial resources well?
Social – do they have strong personal and professional relationships?
Physical – are they properly taking care of their body?
Intellectual – do they consume content that grows their brain?
Career – are they a hard worker who hones their craft?
Family – do they spend time strengthening and leading their family?

These are the seven areas that Zig Ziglar calls The Wheel of Life — the key areas of our lives that we must master to be successful.

Once that’s done you should have one row across the top of the page with the five names, and one column on the left of the seven categories running from top to bottom.  You just created a spreadsheet — scary, I know — and it should look something like this:

Step 3

Next, underneath each name rate each person by category on a scale of 1 to 10, with a 1 being the worst and a 10 being the best.

For example, that person could be have a super high net worth and be outrageously generous, which would give them a 10 in the financial category, but their a giant fat slob so they would get a 1 in the physical category. Or maybe they’re a hard worker and an expert in their field but they neglect their family and don’t know the names of their own children. Rate those categories appropriately, and so on. I think you get the idea. Don’t worry, it’s not an exact science — it’s just a gross estimation — plus you’re going to burn it when this exercise is over so they will never see it, heh-heh (mischievous laughter).

Step 4

Hang in there, you’re almost done. Add up the totals for each person and write that number at the bottom of each column. That’s the person’s total score. Then add up all the totals and divide that number by 5 which will give you the average of your five closest friends. How did your group do?

The Law Of Averages

Maybe you thought that unknowingly making a spreadsheet was the scariest part of this exercise? Oh no. Here’s the scary part: that final number you came up with was YOUR average, not theirs.

Entrepreneur, best selling author, and motivational speaker Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Just like the people in England who talk funny and the SWAT guys with their tiny t-shirts, you are not exempt from adopting the characteristics of those you spend the most time with.

If you want to be a better parent, hang around with people who have great kids. If you want to retire wealthy, spend time with people who are disciplined with their finances. If you don’t want to be a dimwit, stop spending time with morons. If you’re happy with mediocrity, by all means, stick with people who do the bare minimum. If want want to boost your average, then it may be time to make some changes.

You will not become the best version of yourself by default. It will take time, effort, and intentionality. It is up to you to decide who in your life should stay and who should go, what content you consume, and how much of yourself you pour into others.

Iron Sharpens Iron

There’s a good chance you are in someone’s top five which means you are affecting their average. Don’t be the one who brings the average down. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Be the kind of person who sharpens the people around them and gives them an edge. Don’t be the blunt instrument that dulls them. Surround yourself with the right people so you can keep each other sharp.

__________________________

– Who are you becoming?
– Is that who you want to become?
– Who in your life should you spend more time with?
– Who should you spend less time with?
– Which categories do you need to work on?
__________________________

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