Thinking Inside The Box

There are only so many memorable moments that become ingrained in the psyche; that imprint themselves as moments of true bonding in the life of a son and his father. Few are the rites of passage on a boy’s journey to manhood. This shouldn’t be one of them.

On a lazy Sunday afternoon I was dispatched to our local gun and tackle store. It was the kind of family owned business that was a permanent fixture in town. It had been there so long no one could remember a time when it wasn’t there. The log cabin-esque shell was run down and neglected, while the cluttered interior smelled of gun oil, must, and moth balls. The small, ancient parking lot had weeds growing out of every crack and potholes that you could park a Volkswagen in. No one minded, though, the many blemishes just made it all the more endearing.

Too Old For This

This call, however, hadn’t come from the store, it came from the Feds. Whoever was trying to buy a gun had an active arrest warrant, and apparently, that was a no-no. I carefully parked my cruiser in the lot, walked up a few rotten stairs, and in through the glass entry door. I could barely fit past the hunting gear and fishing tackle that was spilling over the shelves like grape vines choking an arbor. I dodged an errant fishing rod that almost took out my eye as I entered the clearing by the sales counter.

An older man, roughly in his early 60’s, wearing a barn coat over a flannel shirt and jeans ,was waiting on the customer side of the counter. His twenty-something year old son perused the nearby glass gun case, ogling a variety of pistols. I said hello to the old man and asked if he was so-and-so and if we could talk outside. We stepped out and after confirming he was the one trying to buy a gun with the arrest warrant I took him into custody. He was cooperative and, in my opinion, a little too old for this kind of nonsense.

Like Father, Like Son

Of course, his son was curious as to why I was presently stuffing his father in the back of my cruiser so I explained to him what was going on and that he could come to the station in an hour or so to bail his dad out. He said he’d head right over, which was great, because it meant I wouldn’t have to waste my shift babysitting.

Booking the old man in was quick and easy, and I was glad, because, after all, it was the Lord’s day, and I really should be taking it easy. But before I could even clear the station Dispatch paged me and told me that I wasn’t going to believe this, but there was another guy at the same store trying to buy a gun who also had an arrest warrant. Give me a break! It was my route and my responsibility so, more than a little annoyed, I headed back — back into the overgrown parking lot, back up the creaky stairs, and through the tangled forest of outdoor accoutrements. And who should I find standing at the firearms counter? The old man’s son.

So, I locked him up too and brought him back to the station where he and his dad could sit and await the bail commissioner together. Don’t get me wrong. I believe that fathers should spend time with their sons but this was ridiculous. I only hoped that there were no branches left on their family tree otherwise I feared that before the day was out I’d have a family reunion on my hands.

Where It Starts

In the last blog I talked about how creating scarcity and compressing time can help us spend more time with our kids. Even though our job as police officers is demanding, with a little intentionality we can still serve our community, be super tactical, provide for our families, and be a good mother or father to our kids. It doesn’t have to be either / or, it can be both. The truth is that it doesn’t take expensive vacations to the Magic Kingdom or an impromptu stay in a local jail cell to create memorable moments. Building memories, creating landmark moments, and being present for those rites of passage with our kids can be a whole lot easier than heading to Disney or getting arrested. But it all starts with being intentional.

Making lasting memories can be as simple as setting up a tent in the back yard and sleeping outside, teaching them to change the oil on the family car, bringing them hunting or fishing, or helping an elderly neighbor with a home repair. Kids don’t need big expensive things to make memories — quite the opposite. The kinds of things that leave a lasting impression on them may seem so unimportant to you that you might easily overlook them or brush them off as a lame or boring. I’m still amazed at the things that stand out in my kids’ memories that, to me, were no big deal — like the time we all wore fake mustaches while we played a board game as a family, when I taught them how to change a flat tire, or the time we went camping and it rained cats and dogs, the bathrooms were broken, and the beach was closed — all at the same time.

Inside The Box

If you’re on a tight budget or a tight timeline, you’re probably a cop. And if you are short on time and short on cash, that’s a good thing. Necessity is the mother of invention and constraint is the father of creativity. Don’t think bigger, think smaller. Everything you need to create moments with your kids is well within your reach and are more than likely lying around the house or just down the street. Not only will you be teaching them how to have fun but how to be creative and that the most important things in life aren’t things.

Be intentional, think inside the box, and carve out some time with your kids. And — if at all possible — avoid getting arrested together. Mugshots make terrible family portraits.

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• What kind of example are you setting?
• Are you being intentional with the time that you have?
• What can you do with the things you have at hand?
• Are you thinking too big?

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